I still need to work on figuring out how much food I need. That's what comes of years of overeating - I'm so used to filling in the gaps with rubbish it's hard to judge how much I actually need. I can eat chocolate way after I'm too full to manage anything else. I have found this every time I started at weight watchers - it was quite difficult to keep away from eating rubbish because I was perhaps craving sugar or just needed to break the habit but the biggest problem was always quite simply too much food. Because of course it's real food and not just crisps and chocolate.
Today, I have eaten what I had planned, plus a big slice of cake (well, actually I couldn't decided which to have so I had a small slice of both which means overall one very big slice - two halves sometimes make more than a whole) for a colleague's birthday. When I was chatting to her later she also paid me a very nice compliment and something like that is always nice to hear.
But despite not eating anything else I am really feeling quite full now. There's no way I could eat a small salad followed by a stirfry with rice now. So I'm going to have the chicken with the salad instead of keeping it another day. And that will be it.
Porridge made with full-fat non-pasteurised local milk and a spoonful of raw cane sugar over it.
One square of lindt chocolate (leftover in my work desk drawer from Friday - I made it last nearly two hours this morning) plus a cup of hot chocolate.
A small apple.
Two slices of quiche - I have to say, this is the nicest quiche I have made for a long time. Really delicious but I think one slightly bigger slice will do tomorrow.
Cake - half slice rhubarb and apple and half slice cheesecake.
Yoghurt with handful of dried berries.
Two jam tarts - shouldn't have bothered. I really only ate them because they were there, they would have kept until tomorrow.
A medium size apple.
And now I'm going to go and have some salad with some smoked chicken and perhaps a little bit of cheese and chutney.
I'm feeling a bit nervous now. H. has to have gotten the letter I wrote last week by now I think. Either he'll take it seriously or he'll be ringing me up asking what bullshit is this. Thankfully he has no credit for his mobile phone so he can only sometimes ring me from work, which means only during the day, which means that unless he's on a day off, drunken meandering conversations aren't too likely. But the thought of it is still in my head. Think I'll have an early night tonight. Can't think when I'm sleeping.