Thursday, August 23, 2007


For the most part I do tend to believe that things happen for a reason, rather than just coincidence. This theory always seems to resonate with me and carry me through until something bad happens. Then life is just a bitch and they're all out to get me.

Try to find the reason why my car was stolen from the driveway of my house a year or so ago? Nope, sorry, still can't do it. Don't feel it was the least bit character building and it just ended up costing me money, a lot of stress (to be honest it took me a good while to even be able to feel comfortable in the house again) and made me just that bit more cynical.

Similarly, the week before last I was out of work early one afternoon to head to a social function - you know, one of those team-building afternoon type things. I was helping one of the organisers carry things to the venue and we were running late so she decided we should get a taxi rather than walk. She got into the back of the taxi (which was stopped at a red light), the other girl with us got into the front, I had one foot into the back and the guy took off, dragging me with him for a few feet before he realised. I did feel sorry for the poor guy, he genuinely hadn't seen me (I'm still not sure how as I'm easily twice the size of the girl I was behind!) but I felt way more sorry for me. I wasn't hurt apart from a mildly twisted thumb (still haven't figured out how I managed to do that) but was in shock for a good while, partially because I couldn't let myself react much until much later that evening after the event I was going to had finished and I was heading home. But again, I haven't been able to find any good (or otherwise) reason for that to have happened.

On the other hand, I recently got a list of books from my counsellor to read as I've kind of hit an impasse in therapy and wanted something extra to do. One of these is called the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I started to read this book a while ago when in a cafe having breakfast. Now, I'd rarely spend an hour on a weekend morning in a cafe but had been trying to arrange to meet my sister and although I hadn't managed to confirm a time with her I went to the place we'd normally meet and decided I'd take my time having some breakfast, wander around the market for a while and then try and see if she was coming down or not. So, I was in a place I wouldn't normally be, doing something I'd rarely take the time to do. As I was leaving the cafe, a guy sitting near the door stood up and said hello and told me that he had noticed I was reading The Power of Now, that it was an amazing book he had read a while ago and he decided when he saw me reading it that he would say hello to me when I passed. He said that he knew once he saw the book that he was looking at somebody starting a journey and just wanted to acknowledge it. I was absolutely blown away and this is the kind of seemingly random thing which can lead me to be able to believe that sometimes things just happen for a reason. It was really nice to chat to someone like that for a minute or two and it was a fantastic start to my day.


Rebecca (sustainable living in rural Ireland) said...

That sounds like a wonderful moment, must have taken quite a bit of courage from him to talk to a stranger too.

As for the bad stuff, I've come to the conclusion that when it happens to me, its so I can learn about myself by the way I respond to these situations. When Mum was terminally ill, somebody said to her 'life is 5% what happens to us, and 95% is all about how we respond to it'.
Bummer about the car. Perhaps you would have crashed it if you kept it, or maybe you touched somebody in a very positive way whom you came into contact with because of its disappearance. Sometimes we just don't know.

Laurie said...

Another good author for you might be Thich Nhat Hanh. When I was first coming to grips with my anxiety disorder, his "Peace is Every Step" was a life-saver for me. Now I'm about to read "Creating Peace" for this class I just began. I think that I can definitely use the refresher!

I remember learning about the technique of considering everything a 'teaching moment" from a book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." Rethinking a situation or relationship as a opportunity purposely presented to you to learn a lesson is very calming to me when confronted with difficult people.

Moonwaves said...

Have to admit that I think a large part of my difficulty in finding positives in bad situations is my propensity for sulking. Defintely one of my worse habits although I do try not to!

Thanks for the suggestion.

And thanks Rebecca for the award (and Phelan, I know there's one down there from you somewhere). Will get around to responding properly to those one of these days.

Stonehead said...

Why was your car stolen? So you'd properly appreciate the cash that may otherwise have trickled through your fingers on little things you'd barely have noticed.

Why did the cab drive off? To teach you that even important things can be overlooked in the rush to cut corners. If you'd walked you might not have had that lesson.