As anyone who has been reading this blog for a while will
know, I am very overweight. My attempts to lose weight have gotten less and
less successful over the years in the sense that even when I start all over
again, I don’t seem to be able to keep it up for more than a week or two, if
even that.
Last May, when I was visiting my sister in France, I spoke
briefly with my sister about this, telling her about an article I had read
about this luxury fasting clinic (sounds like a contradiction in terms but I think
it sounds absolutely heavenly, you can read that article here "Enemas, laxatives and one nut: my ten days at a German fasting clinic") and how I’d actually like to go there. She asked
me why I didn’t go to the doctor and ask if there was any equivalent for
less-well-off people covered by health insurance. I kind of brushed her off but
inside could feel myself getting very defensive just even from her really quite
innocuous question. As these things go, I firmly pushed the thought out of my
head but by the time summer was drawing to a close and my own attempts had
never made it past a day or two, the idea of going to the doctor had worked its
way sufficiently through my subconscious. It took me a couple of weeks of
thinking about it to actually screw up the courage to go to the doctor and ask for
help but I did it. And he was on holidays. Typical.
Rather than traipse across town (my town is small, it would
have been about a ten-minute walk) to the doctor who was covering for him, I
sort of heaved a sigh of relief and told myself I’d go and see him when he was
back from holidays. Of course by then I had lost my nerve again and it took me
another while to actually go to him. Then it was a month or so of sorting stuff
out with the health insurance place, getting all the right forms filled,
stamped and signed correctly and all that kind of thing. And then, it sort of seemed
to happen very quickly and all of a sudden I had my first appointment with a
dietician.*
That was on 7th February and today I had my third
appointment. I thought it was great that it was working out so well to blog
about it today but as it turns out, today’s appointment ended up being
incredibly emotional for me and I’m still feeling a bit vulnerable and not
wanting to talk about it. Perhaps I’ll find a way to come back to the topic
during this A to Z and be able to write something a bit more positive. :)
On the whole, she is being a big help and I have made some
progress. I’m a bit caught between knowing how much better I could be doing if
I were just a bit better organised and trying to learn how to deal with the
situations that my disorganisation lands me in time and again. And, as has been
the issue for the last year or two, it’s the keeping at it that is the hard
part. I have not managed to keep at it consistently by any means but knowing
that there’s another appointment coming up in a few weeks is helping me to at
least always keep coming back to trying to do better. I’ve lost 2.6kg (just
over 5.5lbs), which to me, is really not a lot to have lost in eight weeks but
at least it’s going in the right direction and I know that it’s changing habits
and improving my overall eating which is the most important thing for now. If I
can get that stuff sorted a bit better, then the weightloss will happen one way
or the other.
* I’m using the word dietician partly because it fits nicely
into my A to Z. The literal translation of the German word would be “nutrition
advisor”. Feel free to substitute whatever word is the appropriate word for the
profession that is actually regulated by the government in your country.
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