Sunday, December 14, 2014

Finding it hard to concentrate on the positive

I'm missing blogging more regularly and over the last week or so have found myself trying to figure out why, since I would like to be doing it, I'm not just actually doing it. I'm struggling a bit to fully understand it and also struggling a bit to articulate the glimmer of understanding I have at the moment.

It just feels like, although there are lots of good things happening in my life at the moment, any blog post will very quickly become negative. Because it feels a lot, at the moment, like the good stuff is pretty superficial and the slightest examination of it will expose a morass of not so good stuff. Most of the time I don't feel like anything much is wrong but just that if I allow myself to really think about it, I'll realise I'm teetering very close to the edge of a very bad phase. Kind of feel like I'm hanging on by a thread but by not thinking about the thread, I can ignore the sheer cliffs below.

Anyway, the function of the blog as a diary to look back on and remind myself of various things is one I find myself wanting more and more to get back to, so here's some of what has been happening the last couple of weeks.

One xmas cake baked. 2 batches of mincemeat made (a few weeks ago) and first batch of mince pies done. Batch of apple, pear and ginger mincemeat started this evening and fruit for second xmas cake soaking. I'm very late with the cakes but just haven't had the long baking time at home at all over the past few weeks. I also made an advocat cake for the first time last week and it went down very well in work, so I am pleased to have a new recipe to add to my repertoire.

I celebrated my birthday and in the end 25 people turned up to help me have a really wonderful evening. And I enjoyed the Viking Splash Tour the next day just as much as I'd hoped - our tour guide, Barry the Brutal, kept us laughing the whole time and I learned a couple of interesting new things about Dublin, too. The craft fair was great, too and although I had a lot of fun spending my sealed pot money, and going back on the Sunday to spend some more money I was given for my birthday, the best part was finding a guy who I realised would be able to make me something that I would love to give my brother. So I've commissioned a piece for his birthday in July and am excited beyond bits about it. And last but not least, the very sore back that I acquired a few weeks ago when babysitting for a two-year-old was all but taken care of by another lovely flotation session at the Harvest Moon Centre. So yeah, lots of positive to try and concentrate on!


Baroness Prudent Spending said...

Hi Moonwaves. I think you should focus on blogging when you feel like it. While I do not consider my blog to be a journal (not sure why I don't but I don't), I find that throughout the day I analyze and over-analyze certain things and by the time I log in to blogger, and start writing, things seem more clear regardless of whether it's bad or good. So blogging seems to help me in that manner.

But I understand your hesitancy to concentrate on the positive. It seems very fleeting. Lately I've experienced good then bad, bad, bad, then a little good and then the cycle seems to repeat. I'm still trying to remember the good because you know it may be what is needed to keep getting thru the bad :-)
~ Pru

Jennifer said...

I feel like that often - not too long ago I was thinking of NOT blogging anymore. It almost seems like the negative ones are the ones that get the most feedback as well.

Positive things are good though. No matter how small, they are good!

I have been trying really hard to not overthink things. Much harder than it seems, but letting things go is making my husband happier for sure. I have also been laughing more - a very good thing.

Thank you! You always help me see things differently. I hope your days continue to bring joy more often. You deserve it!

Fiona said...

Happy Birthday!!! And congrats for joining the big 4-0...What a great idea for a celebration with Vikings in Dublin!

You are amazing what you accomplish in the kitchen in between full-time work. I like the idea of a blog as journal - it's amazing to look back and realise what you've accomplished and the progress made.

Many happy returns!

Fiona said...

Just popping in to wish you a very Merry Christmas! Hope things have been on the 'up' the past few weeks. Hope you enjoy the Christmas break.

Anonymous said...

Happy Christmas, Moonwaves! I've been missing your posts.