It did. Honestly. And then on the way home from the monthly German/Irish Society meeting, I saw a missed message from my sister. Txted her back that she should ring me if something was wrong and if not, I would phone her tomorrow afternoon (it was already nearly half-eleven). She phoned me back to tell me that one of my other sisters had hung herself this afternoon and is dead. Don't even know what else to say after that.
Oh my I am so so sorry. I am sure no words I write can be any real comfort but my thoughts are certainly with you. I wish both you and your sister peace.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan. I'm over the initial shock and even managed to get some sleep eventually. Other than that my thoughts are all over the place, which is probably about as much as I can expect for the next while. It'll be better when I can fly back to Ireland and see people, I think.
ReplyDeleteOh good grief. I am so extremely shocked to read that and I cannot even begin to fathom how you must be feeling. Deepest and heartfelt sympathy to you all. So very, very sorry to hear such sad news.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, what a shocking piece of news. Your life will be changed forever now. Look after yourself, I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that, my condolences to you and your family. Last year a friend did the same and from experience it is a long haul to come to terms with it. I expect it will be even more so for family.
ReplyDeleteI do hope you have someone to turn to over the coming time to talk over the events and diffuse any anger - I was surprised how angry I became at one point.
My thoughts and love are with you. Deborah x
Thank you everyone. We've gotten through the wake and the funeral, yesterday was just all a bit numb and today it's the beginning of trying to get back to normal. Flying back to Germany tomorrow and back to work on Monday, a week gone just like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm mostly ruthlessly suppressing at the moment - just not able to deal with it. There's the suicide aspect to deal with and (although I am angry at my BIL and one of my other sisters for keeping the rest of us at a distance, therefore always leaving us to find out after the fact), my sister had made multiple attempts over the years and has been battling depression for a very, very long time. She made her first suicide attempt during my final year of college and that's 18 years ago now - it's also the only one that I found out about immediately although that's just because I was the next oldest at home at the time, my dad was on holiday and since she was going in to hospital I had to take care of opening the family business. So in a way it's not as difficult for me to accept as it might otherwise be I suppose. But alongside the suicide aspect, there is of course the fact that it doesn't matter how it happened, she's dead and so there won't be any more long chats, meeting up, visits, fun and laughter with her. Whenever my mind starts to veer towards all the conversations we'll now never have, I just have to shut it down. Not ready to cope with it yet. But thank you all for your kind words, it really means a lot.