Black hole

I feel a bit like I've fallen into a black hole again - trying not to go too far into it but every time this happens it feels like I have less and less energy to fight it. Managed to get some stuff done today regardless but still not making much progress. Cleaned the bathroom and hoovered and washed the floors. Still need to do the washing up and tidy the kitchen a bit but did get the washing on.

I need to start making a note of when I feel like this so I can see if there's a pattern to it. Don't think I'll find anything as simple as a link to my monthly cycle but you never know.

Last Wednesday I didn't actually have choir practice (we're on a two-week break) so I didn't have takeaway but just came home and had the last of the bean casserole for dinner. Then I went to bed, read for a while and slept. I have been so tired this week. Thursday and Friday I was craving hot, greasy food enourmously and I gave into that. I had a currywurst and chips for lunch on Thursday and have absolutely no clue what I ate for dinner - I'm not even sure I ate any dinner at all, I think I just came home from work and went straight to bed. On Friday I had a gyros with chips for lunch and a pizza for dinner. I got off work an hour early and went to sit in the park on the way home but was still much earlier home than normal. I went to bed to read for a while around eight but barely finished a couple of pages before I started to doze off. It wasn't even dark out. I did wake up around seven this morning but couldn't drag myself out of bed. I'd love to say I was dozing until I got up shortly before nine but I wasn't really, just couldn't seem to stop thinking very depressing thoughts. I was late enough by the time I got going that I didn't go to the market, as that would have made me late for the garden. Went there but even the beautiful sunny day and the few hours in the garden didn't make me feel as good as they normally do. I just felt like I was in the way and not able to do anything right. I hate feeling like this. Maybe tomorrow will be better.