|Detail from front of notebook|
Today, I planned to go for a shorter walk but kept somehow getting delayed and then decided I really needed to finish some work and get it sent out before distracting myself from it with a walk. It was five o'clock before I actually got out but I'm thrilled that I did it. I'm hoping tomorrow to get out much earlier. I'm going to a friend's house at two o'clock so ideally I'll go out walking first thing and then come back and have a big brunch omelette to see me through the afternoon. We'll see.
I received a beautiful notebook as a birthday present last December and hadn't yet found a use for it so it has been called into service as my (very old-school) tracking device. I'm glad that I'm not working at the moment as it gives me plenty of time to look up calories and try and plan what I'll be eating. I wasn't quite organised enough to do a full meal plan and it will take me a couple of weeks to get used to not deciding which starch (potatoes, rice, pasta, bread) I want most and planning my meal around that. Although a small amount of alcohol is included in the BSD guidelines, I'm going to go off it completely until June. I never feel good drinking alcohol on a regular basis and I think in future I'll probably continue with some variation of abstaining completely for a couple of months at intervals throughout the year. One thing I'll be doing is using up some things that I have already prepared (bolognaise yesterday, and bean burgers I have in the freezer, for example) and I will be guessing calories there to a certain extent. But I'm also not going to stress too much if I don't quite make it to just 800 calories in a day. I haven't managed it in the first two days but I still think I'm doing pretty well.
It's half-nine now so I think I can safely say that the first two days are done and, while it hasn't been easy-peasy, it hasn't been too difficult either. I was hungry yesterday at the quiz, or seemed to be, but actually, it was mostly the fact that I knew I needed to have a difficult conversation with somebody afterwards that had my stomach in knots. I ate a Silvermint and that was enough. The conversation went off okay - I didn't get any response I really wanted but I was glad that I had brought it up rather than allowing something to fester and potentially destroy a friendship. Whether that friendship will survive the breaking of trust, I'm not really sure but at least I was able to say my piece. I wonder if I'll ever get over feeling like honesty is the most important thing there can be.
At any rate, this afternoon, because I left for my walk so much later than planned and am currently walking a bit slower than I used to, which meant I took longer than planned, I was hungry by the time I got home and sort of starting to feel a bit panicked that I'd get too hungry and derail myself before I managed to get dinner ready. Then I remembered I'd bought a new jar of bouillon powder recently and when I got in the door I just put the kettle on immediately and a couple of minutes later I had a steaming hot cup of something tasty to tide me over. It was more than enough to see me through sitting down and resting for a while and then preparing dinner. I haven't really drunk enough water today but I'm going to go and make myself a herbal tea now and that will be that. There's trying to drink plenty of water in a day and there's having to get up three times in the night to pee and I know which of those things annoys me most!