I spent a while earlier giving the kitchen the best cleaning it has had for a long time (and am feeling quite ashamed of the amount of dirt that came off the floor!). Yesterday I spent most of my weekly budget on buying a lot of tomatoes and once I have finished writing this, I'll be heading home and putting up the first tomatoes of the year. Depending on how that works out, I'll decide on how I approach the rest of the season.
I've been having a pretty good few days. So much so that I've started to get nervous in anticipation of the next crash. Which I do realise is somewhat self-defeating and am trying to, not ignore precisely, but at least to keep under some kind of control by remembering to tell myself that maybe life can be good sometimes. For the last week or so I have found myself doing things that were entirely normal a few years ago but had become somehow just incredibly difficult, seemingly weighty tasks. Simple things like cleaning the kitchen floor, for example, or washing the dishes every day, or cooking a meal after work.
I went to a local chemist last Tuesday morning and weighed myself and have made a good effort to eat properly and get some exercise this week. At least it has felt like a good effort, the weigh-in next Tuesday will tell if it worked or not. I'm not into a full weight watchers program, not counting points or being at all careful about weighing and measuring (which WW doesn't actually even place as much importance on these days but was always something I found it useful to be careful about). When I think back to what I have been eating like for the majority of the time the past year or so, well, anything is an improvement on it really. So despite my doctor giving me some really bad advice on how to go about losing weight (why is it so many doctors who are really good at what they do seem to be nonetheless really clueless and prone to fadism of all kinds when it comes to nutrition?), I have, for the past week, been snacking on fruit rather than chocolate, been having a proper breakfast almost every morning before leaving for work and bringing sandwiches or salad with me for lunch as well as preparing or cooking something simple in the evenings. I've been swimming a couple of times (before work) and have walked to or from work a couple of times as well. Small steps but they'll all together make a big change eventually.
And even if it doesn't continue for months, at least I'll have at least one batch of homemade tomato ketchup on the shelves.